Rosie's Birth Story - "I think I can."
On to the next battle... our marriage. Dane and I have never been the couple to be quiet about our opinions by any means but we also have always been fairly laid back with most things and typically are just best pals. We get along easy and don't typically have to work at being friends. But the hormones coming off of this little girl and out of me were something fierce. Dane and I were at each others throats most of my pregnancy and we could NOT get our crap together. We tried so hard. We were aware of it. I was aware of my hormones and that most of the time they were the cause of most of the issues. That was the hardest part for me because I'm not quick to anger and I'm not easily upset over every single thing. I felt like an alien had taken over my body and I had no control of being able to take it back. We talked it out time and time again. We would finally get back to good only to have one small comment and my out of whack hormones mess everything up again and nothing seemed to be able help us get on the same page. It got to the point where I was apologizing so often that I started to feel like it didn't even mean anything any more so I went out and bought him flowers (and beef jerky, you know, to balance out the flowers). I wish I could say that we found a solution or that we finally figured it out but it was truly a battle every single day. The only thing that helped was remembering to be kind, not assume the worst in each others intentions, frequent and open communication, praying together and mainly forgiveness at the end of each day. Dane deserves a MASSIVE award for real because I was a massive pain in his rear. (there are so many worse ways to describe how grumpy I was to him, that is literally the nicest way to put it.) The only reason I'm including this as part of the story is because I feel like too often the subject of hormones during pregnancy and the issues it causes in marriage are joked about. But when going through it it feels very real and it is hard to understand why your marriage is struggling. Dane and I got through it without killing each other (barely) but all jokes aside it was a very serious trial for us to not be friends all the time. I feel women get all the passes in the world because "hormones" made them do it. I realize I am the minority in my thoughts here because I voiced my opinion once about this in a mom group and was torn to shreds about my opinion but I feel like husbands should get more credit then they are given for making it through pregnancy and birth. I've seen husbands get bashed in mom groups because since they aren't carrying the baby they simply can't understand. While it is true, I feel like women need to be more understanding that their husband's lives are changing too and they are having to deal with the effects that pregnancy is having on their wife. They may not be the one with the direct physical and emotional challenges but no good man enjoys seeing his lady in physical or emotional pain. The emotions that come from bringing a baby into this world affect mother and father differently but it doesn't mean it's not equally emotional. I guess all I'm saying is women need to give husbands a little credit and cut them some slack. And then when all of it is over... Apologize for, ya know, being a psycho. I know I had to. As I neared week 33 I felt a cloud lift and it was as though that nasty alien left. It was all of the sudden easier to listen to Dane breathe, I was ok if the person in front of me was driving a little slow and I had patience with Monty just being a little boy. Dane and I started to get along and things seemed to start to fall back into place in our life. I got hit hard with the urge to nest and all of the sudden I felt the need to get everything done and fast. I wrote out my to-do list and planned it out week by week for her planned arrival of February 17. My family pulled together and started to help me get as many things done as we possibly could. Painting and organizing her room, spending one-on-one time with Monty and various big tasks around the house that I wanted done before her arrival. "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." Monty's favorite book became my motto. February 17th. I could make it. Not sleeping through the night, leg cramps, the exhaustion, all the other glorious things that come along with the third trimester were no big deal. I could do this because we were lucky to even have our baby girl with us. We still couldn't believe she made it through those ten weeks. Little did we know that was only the beginning of our baby girl's challenges.